Ila' (Oath of Marital Abstention)
The oath of marital abstention (<4 months); the takhyir & ikhtiyar (the wife's option of divorce).
Ila’ (īlā’) is an oath (halaf) to Allah not to approach one’s wife for a period of time, used when a marital dispute needs cooling. It is permissible if the period is less than four months.
One-line: a husband’s time-limited oath of abstention — the Prophet’s ﷺ tool in the one dispute of his marriage.
Definition
A binding oath before Allah to abstain from marital relations for a set time. Under four months it is a lawful cooling-off measure; the Quran caps it (Q 2:226–227) so it cannot be used to leave a wife in limbo. If broken, a kaffarah (expiation of the oath) is due.
How it appears in the Seerah
The Prophet ﷺ made an ila’ for one month during the marital dispute with his wives — a month that turned out to be 29 days (“the month may be 29 days”). It illustrates the sunnah of resolving conflict by separation and reflection, not harshness.
Related: al-takhyir & al-ikhtiyar
- Takhyir — the divine offer to the wives to choose “Allah and His Messenger and the Hereafter” or “the world and a gracious release” (Q 33:28–29).
- Ikhtiyar — a husband’s lawful right to place the option of divorce in his wife’s hand. Most fuqaha require a time-clause; the Hanafis allow it open-ended. If she chooses herself, one talaq falls at her word.
Evidences
Q 2:226–227 (the ruling of ila’); Q 33:28–29 (the takhyir); the hadith of Umar in Sahih Muslim (the loft, the confirmation “I have done ila’ for one month”).
Lessons
Islam gives a structured, humane way to weather marital crisis — “leave them in their beds” (Q 4:34, the man withdrawing, never expelling the woman) — before any thought of divorce.
Cross-references
The Ila' — the Prophet's ﷺ Withdrawal From His Wives · Aisha bint Abi Bakr (rha) · Hafsa bint Umar (rha) · Muhammad ﷺ
Sources
- S012 — Yasir Qadhi Seerah EP 098. Sahih Muslim & Bukhari. Q 2:226–227; Q 33:28–29.